In China, a controversial new trend is reshaping how young people process heartbreak: using artificial intelligence to recreate digital versions of their ex-partners. What began as an open-source project called Colleague.skill—designed to distill coworkers’ skills and communication styles into AI agents—has evolved into a phenomenon where users upload chat logs, social media posts, and photos to generate AI replicas of former romantic partners. These “digital exes” can mimic speech patterns, emotional nuances, and even inside jokes, offering a hyper-personalized form of closure—or, critics argue, a dangerous form of emotional dependency.
The trend, first reported by the South China Morning Post, has sparked global debates about the intersection of AI, mental health, and privacy. For a generation raised on digital intimacy, the allure is clear: What if you could talk to your ex one last time, without the messiness of real-life reconciliation?
How It Works: From Colleague.skill to Ex-partner.skill
The technology behind this trend traces back to Zhou Tianyi, a Shanghai-based AI engineer who developed Colleague.skill as a tool to replicate coworkers’ professional traits. Users input data (emails, messages, project notes) to create an AI that could, for example, draft responses or summarize a colleague’s work style. But as the tool went viral on Chinese social media, a new use case emerged: Ex-partner.skill.
Here’s the process:
- Data Collection: Users gather digital footprints—text messages, WeChat histories, social media posts, and photos.
- AI Training: The platform processes this data to generate a baseline persona, using natural language models to replicate tone, slang, and conversational habits.
- Refinement: Users add personal memories (anniversaries, arguments, shared hobbies) to deepen the AI’s realism.
- Interaction: The result is a chatbot that can engage in strikingly lifelike conversations, often integrated into apps like WeChat.
For some, it’s a way to gain closure. Others use it to replay arguments or relive happy moments, blurring the line between therapy and obsession.
The Ethical Minefield
Mental Health: Help or Harm?
Proponents argue that AI replicas can act as a bridge to acceptance, allowing users to “say goodbye” in a controlled environment. Psychologists, however, warn of the risks:
- Delayed Grief: Prolonged interaction with a digital ex may prevent users from moving on.
- Emotional Dependency: Could this become a new form of digital addiction?
- Reality Distortion: If the AI is too convincing, users might struggle to distinguish between the simulation and reality.
Privacy and Consent
The trend raises legal and ethical red flags. In China, where data privacy laws are evolving, using an ex-partner’s personal data (messages, photos) without explicit consent could violate regulations. Zhong, a lawyer from Guangdong, warned that such practices may breach personal information protection laws, especially if the data is sensitive or obtained without permission.
The Slippery Slope of AI Relationships
China isn’t the first to experiment with AI companionship, but the use of real people’s data without their involvement is unprecedented. If this trend normalizes post-breakup AI cloning, what’s next? Could we see AI “ghosts” of deceased loved ones, corporate exploitation of personal data for emotional manipulation, or legal battles over digital likeness rights?
Business Implications: A Market for Digital Nostalgia?
For tech entrepreneurs, the trend signals a lucrative niche: AI-driven emotional support. Startups could emerge offering customizable AI therapy bots, subscription models for ongoing AI interactions, or partnerships with dating apps to help users “practice” conversations with exes before re-entering the dating pool. Yet, the reputational risks are high. Companies involved in such services may face backlash over exploiting vulnerability or enabling unhealthy behaviors.
Global Reactions: Would This Fly Outside China?
In Western markets, where individualism and privacy laws (like GDPR) are more entrenched, this trend might face stronger resistance. But the underlying desire—to revisit the past, to feel understood—is universal. Expect debates to intensify as AI becomes more sophisticated.
The Bottom Line
China’s AI “digital exes” trend is a mirror to our digital age: a testament to how technology is reshaping human emotion, memory, and even grief. While it offers a novel way to process loss, the ethical and psychological consequences demand urgent attention. As AI continues to blur the line between reality and simulation, society must ask: How far is too far?